October 29, 2013

Crazy Prayers - Maybe my Most Vulnerable Post Ever


We are sitting in stillness before the storm. The air is thick and it's too warm for the season. We are wondering if we’re going to need to take cover, get in the “fraidy hole.”

We can wonder, but the truth is we are going to have to ride out this storm.

Sometimes life calls us to pray the craziest prayers.

We asked God for a diagnosis of Multiple Myeloma because it was the best alternative apart from healing. He gave it to us, to Dad.

Of course, we are asking for healing first and always, in present tense, continually.

God is many things, but the fact that He is Present, brings me the peace that passes understanding.

God sits next to me on the blue plastic couch. There is an indention on this ‘Love’seat right next to my spot tapping out words on my Mac. Some might think it was the weight of many backsides having left their imprint there, but I know better. There is One who sits besides me.

The pinkish chair sits over next to Dad’s bed holds a pillow and the Presence of God.

God is everywhere.

I can’t sit here without thinking of my grandmother and the man she raised that became my Daddy. She faced her own bout with cancer. She fought hard and held it at bay for a long time and then she met her Love on “the bright riverside…when all sorrow has drifted away.”

When I started my blog, I didn’t know much about blogging or communities of bloggers who interact and get to know each other through their writing. I didn't know about promoting a blog on Facebook. I blogged because I loved to write and write about my Life. I didn’t think anyone would read it. Ever.

But then, someone did (read my blog) and I got brave and linked with others, and then promoted it on Facebook (“promoted” makes me wince alittle because it goes against my grain). I had taken a blog address that I knew I would remember---the song my Grandma sang to me so many times—Meet You in the Morning. I blogged on a whim.

The “Most Mornings” thing? I don’t have an explanation about my crazy blog title because I always meet God in the morning and throughout the day. Or better said, He meets with me.

Oh...to be loved by God and to know it.

I am technically incompetent as you can tell by looking at the blog and I haven’t done anything about getting it worked out. Not because I couldn’t, but because I wasn’t sure it mattered.

It matters. Everything matters. To think otherwise is a lie.

My Daddy has never been into doing things “half-a✳✳"---his words, not mine. But I have blogged that way for the most part. I don’t feel shame about it, but I haven’t given myself permission to take it seriously. Seriously? (I sound like a Valley Girl. Believe me, if that's how I sound, it is with a Southern drawl.)

Maybe, when the storm calms in the weeks (or months) to come, I will get someone to help me “set my table,” my place in the blog world, in a way that reflects me, the place where I have invited you and others to come and join me in my life.

Until then, we will see what words fall onto these pages on an unkept table, kitchen variety and certainly not the dining room.

This morning I prayed the prayer from Mark 9, “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.” He is helping my unbelief and I sense faith rising. I know that if you are reading this you may already know that I am always going to believe. I am absolutely convinced the God who created me, my Daddy, my Grandmother, and every person on this planet is not surprised by our present condition. He is with us and He is faithful.

So if we need to pray crazy prayers, we will pray them. And we will take His answers as they come and know they are good.

God is always good.
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We are going to let the docs fight the cancer.

Everyone is asking if I need anything? 

You can give me Scripture---the Sword of the Spirit. Yes, we have a fleshly battle, but we will absolutely win the spiritual one with all that is at our disposal in the Person of the Holy Spirit, the power of God, and the conquering Cross of Jesus. 

And if you are so inclined, you can pray a crazy prayer.

Thanks for reading. Those who have told me they read and those that haven't, I want you to know I am humbled and blessed. Thank you---Dea

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