The Only Perfectionist the World Ever Needed

I have said it a million times, “Two steps forward, one step back.” Will I ever get my stuff together? 

Never.

Jesus is the only perfectionist the world has ever needed.

Jesus laid down his perfect life because we would never have one to lay down. The first day we messed up perfect was over. By His grace, He took our place----the unblemished for the crippled, those enslaved to an enemy set on our destruction. Blood bought our freedom. The death angel has passed over, and we journey on toward our promised land.

I walked in the strange breeze of a north wind on a July day. It was strange because I consider it a miracle that a cold front could make it this far south when the sun’s arc is summer high and the cicadas are humming in the thickets.

Praying under the tent of blue sky, underneath grace clouds, a mockingbird lit on the barren branch of a tree as I walked by. There was no mocking from his voice. 

I fight to pray. The voice that mocks me is mine. The voice that says you are not enough, you haven’t checked off all the right boxes, you haven’t done all you could, you are slovenly, undisciplined, scattered. Scared. Not perfect.

My voice is laced in truth but it’s harsh and shaming. I could give myself a break, but I don’t. It is easier to be critical than kind.

I am learning that humility is a gift, an elusive one, precious and rare. I have struggled a lifetime with who I am. I'm not saying that my struggle is with the family I was born into, or my nationality, or race. I can’t say that I have ever struggled with understanding that God made the world, is in the world, and has placed me in the midst of it in this time and place.

I struggle more with my passions or lack of them, my personality and purpose.

If I am a friend of Jesus, I must deliberately and carefully lay down my life for Him. It is a difficult thing to do, and thank God that it is. Salvation is easy for us, because it cost God so much. But the exhibiting of salvation in my life is difficult. God saves a person, fills him with the Holy Spirit, and then says, in effect, “Now you work it out in your life, and be faithful to Me, even though the nature of everything around you is to cause you to be unfaithful.” And Jesus says to us, “. . . I have called you friends. . . .” Remain faithful to your Friend, and remember that His honor is at stake in your bodily life.  (My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers, June 16.)  

As my life quickly approaches the half-century mark, what God is impressing on me is that humility comes when I accept the person I am, the life I have been given, my uniquely shaped gifting and personality. Humility is accepting no other measure of who I am than being made in the image of God.

One might consider seeking to reflect the image of God could lead to an attitude of haughtiness and I suppose it can. Maybe I have let that happen in my life? Maybe it is happening now?

The mocking voice is unrelenting. 

I don’t need to be famous to give Him fame. I need to be faithful in light of His renown, give Him glory. Lift Him up. I am grateful that I am known by Him and I know Him; grateful to play my role in the Greater Story. 

I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me,

 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; 

and I lay down my life for the sheep. 

(John 10:14-15 ESV)

Reflecting something of the Creator in this world brings me to my knees, the humble stance of my destiny. I don’t want to arrive at my destination never having been familiar with such a stance. I wonder if is possible to arrive at that place without traveling some of the way on the knees.

The thought makes me tremble because I worry more about standing, keeping myself upright and moving forward much more than I think of kneeling. I live like I am on a hike rather than on a pilgrimage.

When I get the opportunity to hike, I like to choose loops. I don’t like retracing my steps on a trackback. A loop will get me back to where I started.

The Christ-life is “a long obedience in the same direction.” There’s going to be Someone to pick me up at the end of the journey.