What if this is it?

“Will you live the life I ask you to live?”

This is a soul question asked by God not in thunderous voice, but imprinted silently upon the heart.

Of course, with such a question, the answer comes regardless of intent.

A Jonah response is always an option. But anyone who knows God knows that a negative response will take you places you never wanted to see        

and through experiences much different than you anticipated.

The answer required for obedience to the “Will you live the life I ask you to live?”  question is obvious. “Yes.”

“Yes,” but with what attitude?

Could I say, “yes,” mean it, with a pure heart?

Pride is insidious.  

The rebellious, discontented person inside me thinks, “Is there really a choice?”  

Oh, the victim mentality that comes from thinking that if I say yes, then God is obligated to at least make life bearable. All the while I conveniently forget there is no guarantee that anything will go according to any life plan that I could map out.

Sin is crouching at the door.

Faith, on the other hand, says, “Yes Lord, I will because no matter what, I trust you.” 

The apostle Paul says, “To live is Christ.” This truth implies there is no other life.
It’s true, there isn’t.

So what do you call what I am doing? 

Am I living?  

I worry about tomorrow.  

I regret the mistakes of the past.  

I feel paralyzed and unsure about what it means to live the life God asks me to live. 

I wonder if am I doing my thing, His thing, or anything of eternal value.

So many people would love to be stuck where I am: loved by a husband who has worked to care for our family for over twenty-five years; children who are in our lives, good children; a home, a car, and a grandbaby. (And I could go on....)

What price do I pay to follow Christ daily? What seeds I am planting?

What do I fear? 

Failure? Loss?

Or do I just not value all that is mine in the grace-life God has given me?

Do other people grapple with this or is it just me?

What if this is it? What if this good life is it? This life others may covet and I struggle to enjoy.  

Will I live the life He asks me to live?

If I never go on another mission trip, never lead another Bible Study, or never write another blog entry will I be content?  

Am I willing to believe God's love for me whose only sacrifice is the joy of raising a family and lying next to the man I love every night, dusting furniture, and making meatloaf?

My greatest challenge may be to live the most uncomplicated way. To live righteously content knowing He has this world held together without my help.

My heart's desire is to be satisfied each morning in the steadfast love of God.

I don’t have to figure out a story that has already been written. I just need to willing to live the life He asks me to live.

I say yes and close the door on the enemy crouching. This is enough.

Satisfy {me} in the morning with your steadfast love,

 that {I} may rejoice and be glad all {my} days.

Psalm 90:14 (ESV)