Longings

 

Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, 

And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. 

For the LORD is a God of justice; 

How blessed are all those who long for Him.  

Is. 30:18     

Longings. Rarely do we use the verb long in conversations with people or with God. We are uncomfortable with longing, to tell someone that we want something that we don’t have. We might tell God, but we squirm in our souls to be so direct to the God of the Universe. It isn't like he doesn't know what our longings are. The beauty of prayer is that we can express them without fear, laying them before a just and holy God.

I have the verse above written on an index card. Transferred from the pages of the Bible to get a daily glance, it sits jammed between a painting and a frame behind the magnifying mirror on my vanity.  Every day I read it, think about it for a minute and put it away for the day. But this morning it grips my heart and I am overwhelmed with longing.  I've read it and I want more of Him—the LORD---the One who longs to be gracious to me.

I don’t care anymore if it makes me odd or alien in this world. I long to love people. I want to serve people because God loves them and in an unexplainable way, I love them as well.  I have been gifted with compassion yet somehow this day, I stand in need of compassion.  And the LORD---Jehovah—The I Am That I Am---longs to have compassion on me.  How awesome is that! Will I allow Him to act with compassion on my life? Or will I kill my longings and continue on, reading the card day after day, never believing that the message is for me?

He alone knows how much I need his compassion to live in faith, to walk and serve in the world in His name. He knows the sin that so easily entangles me; the diversions of leisure that pull at me. He knows how little I know of what is mine in Christ Jesus; how small my faith is. He knows that I make life about me and not about Him.  He knows what would happen if that were turned upside-down.

Yet this day I long to be laid open by Him. I want to feel the weight that comes with knowing He knows it all.  He is just. He doesn’t have to be gracious to me. He chooses to GRACE me.

Lord, wait no longer. Grace me with your compassion, not only for me but for those you would love through me.  I long to hear your voice behind me saying, “This is the way, walk in it…” I long for you, for the blessing of your compassionate voice.  I long for ears to hear and a heart to understand. I long to be found by you as worthy to receive your compassion and one willing to take it as offered---a holy gift to one who has my heart open to receive. Here I am Lord, me, longing for you.